Simple Story Starters: #1 Clustering

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A Fly On The Wall

by Lana Krumwiede

People ask me all the time what we do in our writing group, so I thought I'd put together a highlight reel of sorts. This month we had four manuscripts to critique: One picture book, and three chapters from middle grade books. All were very unique and enjoyable.

The first manuscript we read was a beautifully written chapter from a middle-grade novel, or perhaps a chapter book. The language was gorgeous and quirky at the same time.The visual images were absolutely luscious! This story reminded us of Alice and Wonderland or The Tale of Despereaux. Most of our suggestions were about small things that we found confusing and ideas for more character development.


 

Everyone loved the picture book manuscript that was submitted this month. It was very funny and age-appropriate. One of the things we all commented on were the sounds the author used. They were written out in very humorous ways that will make the book a fun read aloud. There was a lot to love about this book—the character was endearing and the action was paced well. One of the suggestions had to do with consistency. Some of the animals were real and some of them were fantastical; we wondered if it would be stronger to have all fantastical animals. Another suggestion was to vary the settings of each scene. Instead of having them all take place on the beach, one could take place in a forest, another in a cave, and so on, which would heighten the visual interest of the story.

Next on the docket was an opening chapter from a middle-grade mystery. The writing flowed well and the narrative was clear—that alone is a major accomplishment for any writer! The suggestions were primarily about how to ratchet up the tension and end the first chapter on a suspenseful note. This is an important point: Getting the tension right is often a second-draft task. In the throes of the first draft, writers often sense that the tension is not quite adequate. Tell yourself it’s okay and don’t let it stop you from completing the first draft. Once you’ve got everything out on the table, it’s much easier to sense where the tension needs to be and recognize what you, the author, can utilize as a source of suspense.

The last critique of the night was a chapter from a middle-grade historical novel. It was an action-packed chapter that everyone seemed to enjoy. The author had originally written it in third person, then switched it to first person. There were still a few pesky third-person pronouns that had cleverly avoided detection, which made it confusing to read (but an easy fix for the writer). The other comments had to do with character motivations and making them crystal clear. Not easy to do but very important!

Thanks to all the RCW members for a great February Meeting! See you in March.

Book Review: Animalium

by Jenny Broom
Illustrations by Kate Scott

           

What is it: a picture book, textbook, coffee table book, reference book or living history museum? Using a bit of each of these elements, Broom and Scott have put together a book that explains evolution from the opening galleries of insects and invertebrates to the closing exhibits of large mammals. Beginning with a tree of life, an illustration covering two pages, they show how different groups of animals are related and how the animals have evolved from one another. Each chapter represents a different museum gallery, each focusing on one class of animal. Members of each class are described on two-page spreads, text on the left with the plate of illustrations on the right. A key to the plate, giving additional information about the animal depicted, is provided under the text and is linked by number to the illustration. The illustrations are pen and ink, with color added digitally, a beautiful blend of traditional and modern illustrative techniques. This choice of media and the arrangement of images on the plate make reference to established approaches to scientific illustration and the color reinforces the impression of form and liveliness on the page. Broom ends her book with an index, a bio of each “curator” and a list of reference materials labeled “To Learn More.” From Candlewick Press/Big Picture Press (2012), Ages 8 to 12, ISBN: 978-0-7636-7508-0. Reviewed by Hazel Buys.

 

Heard of banned books? How about banned words?

‘Bae,’ ‘Foodie’ and ‘Enhanced Interrogation’ on List of ‘Banished’ Words for 2015

Thank you to SUZAN CLARKE -  from the Jan. 1, 2015 broadcast of Good Morning America
 
‘Bae,’ ‘Foodie’ and ‘Enhanced Interrogation’ on List of ‘Banished’ Words for 2015 (ABC News)

Do you grimace when you hear some call a significant other “bae,” or throw out the word “takeaway” in a meeting? Do you gnash your teeth when someone describes himself or herself as a “foodie” or take credit for “curating” something that’s not in a museum?

You’re not alone.

Those are offenders that have made the list of 12 “banished” words and phrases issued by Lake Superior State University in Michigan.

The list, released today, was created from more than 2,000 submissions from members of the public who take issue with certain words and believe they should be banned, Thomas Pink, LSSU’s director of public relations, told ABC News in an interview.

“It just seems that language always strikes a nerve with people,” he said.

This is the university’s 40th annual list of words that are highlighted for misuse, overuse or uselessness, according to a release from LSSU.

The 12 words that made the final list were selected by a university committee.

“We do look at which words and phrases get the most nominations, but a word or phrase does not have to get a lot of nominations for it to make the list if everybody agrees on it, and since it’s lighthearted we all try to look for things that would make people laugh,” Pink said.

The banishment is by no means official. Dictionaries aren’t changed, but the publication of the list is definitely noticed, Pink said.

In one case in the 1990s, an Arizona State Supreme Court justice pinned that year’s list on a bulletin board in his office and forbade any attorneys who had business with him from using the words, Pink said.

Entries to the university’s website came with reasons supporting detractors’ disdain for the word.

Blan Wright, of Sugar Hill, Georgia, wrote of “bae”: “The most annoying term of affection to show up in years. Also, the concept ‘before anybody else,’ developed AFTER the word became popular. Reason enough for it to be banned.”

Below are the eight other vexing words or phrases on this year’s list along with nominees’ reasons for banning them:

Hack -- Suddenly things that once would have been called 'tips' are now being called 'hacks.' It can't be because the one word is shorter or easier to say; and the actual accepted meanings of ‘hack’ have nothing to do with suggestions for doing tasks better or more efficiently -- quite the opposite, really.” – Sharla Hulsey, Sac City, Iowa.
Polar vortex -- “Wasn’t it called ‘winter’ just a few years ago?" -- Dawn Farrell, Kanata, Ontario, Canada
Skill set -- “Why use two words when one will do? We already have a perfectly good word in ‘skills’ (ending with an s, not a z).” – Chip Lupo, Columbia, S.C
Swag --“Whether it's a ‘free gift’ (banished in 1988) or droopy clothing, this word is neither useful nor fancy.” – Jeff Drake, Saint Albans, West Va.
Friend-raising -- “A horrible word that conflates the real meaning of friendship with usually hidden motivations to get at the other person's pockets.” – Mary Been, Sidnaw, Mich.
Cra-cra (or “cray cray,” a term which means “crazy.”) -- “I'm sick of hearing myself say this! Must be banned!” – Roxanne Werly, Traverse City, Mich.
Enhanced interrogation -- “A shameful euphemism for torture.” – David Bristol, Byron Center, Mich.
-Nation -- “Although a devout Wisconsin sports fan, I do not belong to Packer-Nation, Badger-Nation, Phoenix-Nation, or Brewer-Nation. Further, I am not aware of any team or mascot that has the carrying capacity to be a nation.” – Kelly Frawley, Waunakee, Wisc.

 Among the proscribed words on last year’s LSSU list were “selfie,” “twerking” and “hashtag."

Happy New Year!

by Hazel Buys

 

All of us at Richmond Children’s Writers wish you and yours a happy, prosperous and creative 2015!

Lana, Hazel, Deb, Marianne, Stephanie, Brian, Troy, Dan and Chris

Bad Writing

by Hazel Buys

I came across the following from Ross and Kathryn Petras (Wretched Writing) over the holidays: “She threw her face over her apron.” By Charles Reade, The Cloister And The Hearth (1861).

This was actually published, folks.

So, here we are at New Year’s resolutions time, and I resolve not to commit bad writing. How? Edit, revise, get my work reviewed by my (wonderful!) writing group, send it out to (carefully selected) beta readers, read it out loud to myself, edit, revise and edit some more.

In other words, keep working at my craft, remember it’s never perfect but that with enough work, it might get to a state of ‘done.’

Repeat.

Happy New Year!

Deconstructing the 2014 JRW Conference

by Hazel Buys

“If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.” Turkish proverb

Wow! Another great James River Writers conference! This year, I only participated in a Friday master class and a critique session on Sunday. Those two events were praise-worthy and if they were any indication, the whole conference was a winner. Upbeat energy hummed throughout.

The new venue was attractive and busy with conference-goers and hotel guests. The coffee was hot, the staff friendly and the lobby was easy to navigate. Can’t do much better than that.

It was wonderful to catch up with writing friends, some of whom I see only occasionally during the year.

The pre-conference workshop presented advice and ideas on how to get your novel published. Even though I’ve heard a lot of the advice before, there were several excellent ideas that were worth the price of admission.

My critique session was especially good because the agent gave me specific ideas on how to make my novel better and encouraged me to take it to the next level. I have homework and I intend to do every bit of it.

Back to the advice I opened with: LISTEN! I overheard one agent/editor saying that some of the authors she’d met with rejected her advice and didn’t want to change their work. It’s important to not close your mind to ideas that differ from yours. If you ask for someone’s advice, take time to consider it carefully. It may be just what you need to rise to the top.

Countdown!

By Hazel Buys

There’s a list I check in the fall. It’s a bit like Santa’s run up to his big day.

But my list goes like this:

Register for James River Writer’s Conference                            check!

Register for Pre-conference workshop                                          check!

Prepare & pack all workshop materials                                         check!

Research agent/editor for pitch session                                       check!

Look up conference and workshop locations; plan route          check!

Like Santa, I check it twice and pack up the night before. I know I’ll be more relaxed and have a better experience at the workshop and conference if I’m well prepared.

Have you completed YOUR checklist? Only five more days to Christmas, I mean the 2014 James River Writers’ Fall Conference!

A Brave New World: Comic Books as School Textbook

by Hazel Buys


Imagine! Comics were all but outlawed in the classroom after World War II, but today, they have clearly gone mainstream.

Indeed, comics are explicitly recommended for use in the classroom if the content supports the state and national curriculum standards. Responding to this opportunity, Josh Elder has put together an anthology of comic-book style stories, Reading with Pictures, billed as “Comics that make kids smarter.”

Comic book style short stories address topics in a variety of subject areas such as Social Studies, Math, Language Arts and Science, preceded by a useful section at the front, “How to Read a Comic.”
 

The comic book format means the visuals change with the author so the reader is treated to a sampling of some of the best comic book art being produced today.

Some of the topics are straightforward (how to read Roman numerals) while others are abstract (probability theory). The biography of George Washington brings out little known facts (he required his valet to wear a turban) while embedding his journey to becoming the first President of the United States in the culture and mores of the times, making it easier for a young person to relate to him. The Language Arts section includes a story about the invention of the printing press, an accomplishment of the day that rivals the development of any modern computer technology. The variety of story-telling styles matches the wide range of illustration styles.

Is this an expanding opportunity for fiction or non-fiction author-illustrators? You bet. Josh Elder’s company, Reading With Pictures, is counting on it. Learn more at www.readingwithpictures.org.

Book Review

IN THE SHADOWS

By Kirsten White

Illustrations by Jim Di Bartolo
Reviewed by Hazel Buys

            Bartolo and White redefine the illustrated novel in this story of devil’s disciples that transcends genre. A little bit gothic, a little bit sci-fi and a whole lot fantasy, this layered story of romance, adventure and time travel covers a century in two slip-streams, one delivered in eloquent prose and the other in illustrations, boldly drawn and painted images of fear and flight, combat and pursuit. In the early years of the twentieth century, the lives of four teenagers converge at an inn in Maine. Two of them, Cora and Minnie, are the daughters of the innkeeper, a widow. The other two, Thom and his younger brother Charles, who is slowly dying, arrive in flight from an unnamed danger, sent by their father under the pretense of seeking respite from city life for the summer. Their story is told in the prose chapters, beginning with their witness of a hanging and the disappearance of the body which then reappears, unable to die. The fifth voyager is Arthur, kingpin and secret-keeper, who understands the danger that pursues them all. His story unfolds in the illustrations, comprising chapters that alternate with the prose. Much of the plot unfolds in predictable ways: parents disappear, bodies come back to life, a secret society of immortals, the Ladon Vitae, is revealed. These immortals have appropriated power from an imprisoned devil-child and use it to control people and events, always for evil ends. The two stories converge at the conclusion where the patience of true love is rewarded. This is not a novel for readers who prefer their stories in strictly linear form. But for those willing to read “outside the box,” it offers an intriguing and imaginative variation on the usual formula.

ISBN: 978-0-545-56144-0

Looking in on RCW

by Hazel Buys

For the past three to four years I have been working on mystery novels for middle grade.

Recently our fearless leader at the RCW set out a challenge: write short stories for middle grade.

Why do I find that scary? As I said, I write mystery NOVELS for middle grade. Uh, oh.

But I remembered an artist friend of mine complaining about an exhibition opportunity he’d offered to his painting friends. He needed small works (I’m talking inches here) for an exhibit in a small space.

‘I don’t work small,’ came the reply. My friend’s response was, ‘neither do I, but I’m going to give it a try.’

Give it a try. Powerful wisdom in those four words. I believe I will.

Is there something new and different you’ve dodged lately? Rethink that and give it a try.

Anatomy of a Writing Retreat

By Chris Sorensen
Originally posted by Chris Sorensen at casorensenwrite.wordpress.com, 6/2/14

I had the privilege this past weekend to attend my first ever writing retreat. Four writers from my writing group – Richmond Children’s Writers – and three from another local group made our way an hour and a half south of Richmond to Lake Gaston. One of the members had an in with a condo owner so we got to stay for free (yeah, big plus).

The goals of the retreat were to:

1) have time for writing and critiquing

2) to learn and grow as a writer through sharing and discussion

3) to have fun!

Mission accomplished. It was a wonderful experience and couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I find myself getting comfortable or unmotivated about every 3-4 months and need that little spark to keep me going. It was perfect!

There was a pretty organized schedule, but it was not set in stone. There was time for writing, critiquing, discussion sessions, eating and just enjoying each other’s company. Over a two day period, there was probably 10 hours for writing and 10 hours for other.

The top 3 things I learned at the retreat:

- it’s a very positive experience to sit with other writers and just…write! I’m used to being by myself and leaving all the distractions behind when I write. But sitting in the same room with other writers was very rejuvenating and encouraging. All the clacks of the keyboard, the periodic discussion…there was a great energy. We were very blessed to have a great group that melded well together.

- I need to take more time to brainstorm and discuss my writing projects with other writers. I am very blessed to have a critique group, but I need to take more time to interact about ‘big picture’ subjects and other mechanics of the craft.

- good readers make good writers! I have fallen out of the habit of reading for pleasure and need to get back in the groove.

Considering going to a writing retreat? While this was a group organized retreat and somewhat informal, I imagine all writing retreats are similar in goal and organization. Are you stuck in your writing? Do you find yourself lacking writing friends to brainstorm and commiserate with? Do you have a goal but aren’t sure how to get there? Are you at the point in your writing where you can give honest critiques and receive them as well?

If you answered yes, then it sounds like a writing retreat might be for you! Have a look here for a great tool to help you look for retreats.

I know I am looking forward to doing it again next Spring!

Writing Lessons From Old Movies

By Hazel Buys

Remember that scene in CASABLANCA when the piano player in Rick’s Cafe turns to look at Rick before playing the accompaniment to the Marseillaise, the French national anthem? Rick gives an almost imperceptible nod. Rick’s nod was a small movement, but it set the course for the rest of the movie. Up until then we weren’t quite sure which side, that of the French Resistance or the occupying Nazis, Rick would choose. And he had to choose. In that time and place there was no truly neutral position available.

A tiny gesture, a short phrase: these can have huge power in your writing. I recently had the pleasure of reviewing a fellow writer’s story that has a similar turning point. The protagonist experiences unsolvable problems, confusion, angst, then more confusion and angst. Just at the perfect moment, a two word sentence describing a very small action shows us the answer. The rest of the story flowed from that deceptively subtle and very brief phrase. 

I’ve read that the pivotal scene described above was an afterthought. The scene was actually a call back to Humphrey Bogart who thought he’d finished shooting the film. No other actors were needed. Bogart stood alone on the set, in the shadows at the edge of the room and nodded. The scene was cut into the film at the proper place and history was made.

Do you have history making potential in your story that is waiting for you to discover just the right words to put in exactly the right place? Work to uncover that moment and your writing will leap ahead.