The Funniest Thing About...

The funniest thing about writers’ conferences is the panel Q&A. At every conference I’ve attended where they have a panel of successful authors, eventually someone will ask how they got started in children’s writing; what was their big break? I have heard writers begin their answers to that question in the following ways: “my husband’s agent…, while I was working at Scholastic…, the publisher of my adult romance novel…, a friend of mine who knew Jane Yolen…, after being an agent for ten years…” I have NEVER heard a single author say, “They pulled my manuscript from the slush pile and called me.” For all the assurances I hear from editors and agents at these panels that they read and consider every manuscript they receive, it seems odd that the (admittedly anecdotal) evidence suggests that having a friend in the business is still the quickest route to publication. But fear not! You do have a friend in the business. If you’re at a writers’ conference, look around. Talk to the person next to you. Everyone there at the conference is “in the business.” They all care about children’s publishing. Many of them have already been published or know someone who has. Talk with them. Reach out to them. You never know when a, “Hey, I like your sweater,” comment can turn into a, “I write in the same style, I think my agent might be interested in your work,” moment In addition, the agents and editors that attend these conferences WANT to find someone to publish. They want to make their weekend speaking engagement worth giving up a trip to the beach or the mountains. They want to connect, not just with a manuscript, but with an author – face to face. Take advantage of these opportunities and sign up for the one on one consultations and evaluations. Chances are, they won’t fall in love with your first submission, but you will have made another connection with “someone in the business.” Who knows, maybe you will end up on one of those wrters’ panels answering a question with, “My friend the agent…”

The Funniest Thing About...School Visits

The funniest thing about school visits is the teachers. It’s amazing how teachers can still make you feel like a little child. After a pleasant greeting and possibly a few minutes of “getting to know you” small talk, the teacher will turn to her class and demand attention. I’m well past my school age years, yet whenever I hear teachers go into that stern “listen up…or else” mode, I quake in my shoes. Even the 50% of the time when I’m not doing anything wrong! To make matters worse, I like to write humorous works for children so I like to get the students riled up and ready to laugh. I like to have them interact with me; I like to know they’re coming along for the ride. And nothing can turn my raucous hayride into a somber ride of shame faster than a teacher’s raised eyebrow, “I see what you’re doing and you’re going to pay for it later” look. Sometimes I have to engage in a stealth battle of wills with the teacher. We play a sort of unspoken tug of war with the attention of the children. I try to get them loud and boisterous, the teacher will remind them of the rules. I’ll ask them silly questions that have no correct answer, the teacher will make an educational allusion to something they’re studying in class. I’ll zig, she’ll zag. I’ll bob, she’ll weave. All the while, the children will feel the unspoken tension between fun and education. And then we’ve got them! Because in the end, that’s the goal – to remind kids that learning can be, should be, and often is FUN!

The Funniest Thing About...

The funniest thing about agents is that (at least for picture book authors) it’s easier to find a publisher. The conventional wisdom is that you need an agent to get published, but in many cases you now need to get published to get an agent. For instance, I had an agent at the Ronnie Herman agency agree to represent one of my titles. She was very supportive and gave great advice for polishing my work. I was so excited to have somebody handle the business part of writing and represent me to the major houses that I immediately began work on my next title. Exactly two weeks later, this same agent emailed to inform me that because picture book sales were “tight” she wanted to devote more time to her existing clients and would no longer be able to represent me. (Not exactly funny, ha! ha! but certainly funny, peculiar!)
But because I’m determined, I kept submitting to agents. A few months later I received a promising email from an agent at Muse Literary. I had sent a blind query and this particular agent replied back saying that my book was “very appealing” and showed “great promise.” She had taken the time to make a few notes and said that she “looked forward to working with me.” Again, I was so excited I sat down and began revising immediately. I made about 70% of her requested revisions and kept the other 30% as it was with notes explaining my reasons (pacing, plot, character development, etc.) I was looking forward to a wonderful creative partnership. A week later I received an email from this agent saying “children wouldn’t be interested” in my book and that she would not represent me. Really? My book went from “very appealing” to not interesting in one week? Apparently when an agent suggests changes, you should make ALL the changes without question. But what if that changes the tone of your book?
As I pondered this whole agent business, I received an email from a publisher (I had been submitting to publishers and agents at the same time.) Tiger Tales wanted to publish one of my picture books! Over the course of several weeks, I corresponded with my editor (who is wonderful by the way.) She suggested changes. I made most of them (what can I say, I’m a slow learner.) She listened to my defense on changes I did not want to make, and we worked TOGETHER to polish my manuscript till it shined! I’m so excited (for real this time!) and can’t wait for the release of my book next fall. So while you’re knocking yourself out trying to get the attention of that career changing agent, don’t forget to submit to publishers!

The Funniest Thing About...

The funniest thing about writer’s block is that so much has been written about it. A quick Google search for the term yielded 10,700,000 articles. That’s a lot of words to describe a lack of words! 


Although some of the articles simply describe the wretched condition, the overwhelming majority of them offer advice on how to overcome writer’s block. Like cures for hiccups, there are many remedies that are varied and creative. But, also like cures for hiccups, their effectiveness is debatable. Some suggest writing grocery lists to get the creative juices flowing, some suggest drawing pictures to tempt the muses, others recommend getting up and going for a hike to clear those mental cobwebs.


 My personal favorite remedy is to just tackle the problem head on. Just sit and write, “I have writer’s block because…” and let it all out. Exorcise those demons of self doubt, mental fatigue, work or family pressures, etc. The very things that are causing you writer’s block may actually be a good source of material for the characters you create. Of course, if none of these strategies work for you, you can always go to Barnes and Noble and buy one of the 124 titles they have on the subject – or one of the 357 titles available on Amazon. 


And if all else fails, take comfort in this bit of wisdom that American poet William Stafford offered his students: “There is no such thing as writer’s block for writers whose standards are low enough.”

The Funniest Thing About...

The funniest thing about rejection letters is that they’re actually Good News! With more publishers moving to a “we’ll only respond if interested” policy, any correspondence from a publisher is good. Even a standard form letter is proof that someone somewhere took the time to read your story.

But just like in personal relationships, there are different levels of rejection in publishing. There’s the, “I will NEVER go out with you!” rejection; which is when the rejection letter specifically comments that your writing is not up to their standards. If you get this one, there’s no need to resubmit anything to that publisher. There’s the, “Talk to the hand!” rejection; which is a standard form letter. If you receive this one, chances are an editorial assistant rejected your submission before it ever made it to an editor. There’s the, “It’s not you, it’s me” rejection; which is when you receive a form letter, but it’s personally signed by an editor. That means the editor has no interest in the story you just sent, but they may be interested in something else in your style. There’s also the, “I don’t want to go out with you this Friday” rejection; which is when you receive a signed form letter with one or two handwritten sentences commenting favorably on your writing. That means the editor likes your style, but for whatever reason, it’s just not a good fit for the publisher. If you get this type rejection you should quickly send a new manuscript to that same editor.

And finally there’s the, “I can’t go out with you this Friday because I’ve already made plans” rejection; which is when you receive a personal letter (or email) from an agent along the lines of, “I liked your story, but we just released a similar story about tap dancing cats.” This means the editor really likes your style and would like to see more of your work. If you get this one -Congratulations! You’re on your way to building a relationship with an editor. You should contact that editor IMMEDIATELY. Thank her for reviewing your manuscript. Ask permission to send another one. And ask if she has any specific topics of interest that she is seeking. Then pick (or create) whichever manuscript of yours fits her wish list, Re-Edit it (with help from your writer’s group if possible), and send it to her ASAP.

Publishing is a business based on relationships. And if you don’t live in NYC, or can’t afford to attend 20 writer’s conferences each year, then your best way to build a relationship with an editor will be through that first rejection letter. In fact, my forthcoming picture book, With All My Heart, was acquired by an editor who rejected the first manuscript I sent her. So next time you get a rejection letter, remember; it’s not an end - it’s just the beginning!

The Funniest Thing About...

By Brian Rock

The funniest thing about book store readings is that they're so unpredictable. At one reading I had forty kids show up at a store where they usually get less than ten per reading. The community relations rep was so busy running around looking for extra seating that she forgot to introduce me! At another store I only had three children show up because no one at the store put up any in-store promotion in advance of the reading. So always remember to help promote your own readings!

But the most unpredictable (and therefore funniest) thing about readings is the children in the audience. At my very first reading, I was so excited to share my magnum opus (my poetry collection, Don't Play With Your Food!) with the world. I had just finished reading my first poem, TV Dinner. To my delight, most of the audience was laughing in response to the poem. But before I could soak in the joy of that moment, one little four-year-old in the front row blurted out, "That's not funny!"

Of course the adults in attendance roared with laughter. I had just been upstaged! Like a comedian dealing with a heckler, I had to think quickly. So gesturing to the little boy, I said, "My first critic. I feel so validated!" The adults laughed again, my front row critic was confused and quieted, and the rest of the reading went on without a hitch. So remember when you plan your readings, expect the unexpected (and prepare to be humbled!)