To edit a line.

Warning to non-writers: If you get bored with nuts-and-bolts stuff, this one’s not for you.

My method of writing is not the usual draft-it-all-first approach. I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work for me. If I don’t get it the way I want it, early on, there’s no sense in continuing. Because what comes first influences what follows. I take my idea and start expanding it. While mentally (and sometimes on paper) exploring its potential, I begin to perfect it.

I do this with every line. One line builds from another, until there’s unity within the whole.

Here’s an example of the progression of a sentence in a work in progress, my middle grade* novel, Hans Andersen’s Ghost. The scene: Skim, a boy of twelve, is left standing in the dark on a hilltop far from home. One of the motifs in the story is shoes (he keeps a key in his left shoe).

I'll start with the first version of the sentence. I would include the sentence before it, but this is the beginning of a new paragraph.

» There’s a rumble again; he feels it through the soles of his shoes. (I’m thinking: Hmm … “the soles of his shoes” —echoes of Paul Simon … a distraction, too sing-song for this moment.)


» There’s a rumble again; he feels it through his shoes. (Better, but it does not convey the immediacy of the feeling, because it’s telling us what he feels rather than sending us the feeling.)

» There’s a rumble again, rumbling right through his shoes. (Now we can feel what he feels. But I'll try an even closer description.)

» There’s a rumble again, rumbling up through his shoes. (There. It gives a sense of the vibration and its direction, from the ground up. I considered reinserting “the soles of”—it sounds good, but that added detail might compete with the rumble.)

Now for the next line, to see how it fits.

There’s a rumble again, rumbling up through his shoes. Louder it grows, and stronger, like a mammoth mole tunneling under his feet.

I like the alliteration of the uh sound (rumble, rumbling, up, tunneling, under ... there are actually nine uh sounds in these two lines)—it enhances the uh-oh—something’s-about-to-happen sense I want to convey. But I have a problem with the prosody the word tunneling creates. It has too many syllables that make the sentence drag at the end. So I consider some synonyms and come up with a few possibilities: burrow, grub, and bore. Bore is a little odd and calls attention to itself (besides lacking the uh sound), and burrow/ing is no better than tunneling. So, grub it is. Grubbing—two syllables. And I like the scariness of it.

There’s a rumble again, rumbling up through his shoes. Louder it grows, and stronger, like a mammoth mole grubbing under his feet.

But, being a finicky writer, I think it still drags. So, I do as they say: I’m killing that darling grub.

There’s a rumble again, rumbling up through his shoes. Louder it grows, and stronger, like a mammoth mole under his feet.

I think that says it. It might be even scarier.

—Troy Howell

*middle grade defines fiction specifically suited for readers ages 8-12

Writing for Young Readers

"I have a great idea for a book." 

Great ideas are wonderfully exciting! The hard part is knowing what to do with it. How does one become a writer? There are many answers to that question, and one of them is to get involved in the writing opportunities in your community. There are writers who live right here in Richmond who have had great ideas for books and figured out how to get them published. 

On April 27th, the Mid-Atlantic Region of the Society of Children’s Book
Writers and Illustrators is hosting their Spring Mingle and New Member Welcome. This local event is perfect for anyone interested in learning to write for young readers. Best of all: It's free! 

WRITING FOR YOUNG READERS:

Changing the World One Reader at a Time

Featured Speaker: Louise Hawes

Author of Black Pearls, Rosey in the Present Tense, Anteaters Don’t Dream, and other books for young readers. Co-author of the graphic novel, A Flight of Angel. Co-founder of the MFA program in writing for children and young
adults at Vermont College of Fine Arts.

Meet and greet

Break-out groups for writing exercises

Book sales and signing

Refreshments

Saturday, April 27, 2013

1:00 - 4:30 p.m.

Richmond Public Library

101 East Franklin Street

FREE

Please pre-register by April 25, and bring pen & paper for writing exercises. To pre-register, email your name and break-out group preference to
SCBWISpringMingle@gmail.com

Break-out groups:

picture book (PB)

middle grade (MG)

young adult (YA) 

illustrators (IL)

nonfiction (NF)

Facilitators for break-out groups: Gigi Amateau, Ellen Braaf, Ginjer Clarke, Troy Howell, Erica Kirov, Lana Krumwiede, Meg Medina, Anne Marie Pace, Brian Rock, and A. B. Westrick.

Many of us from Richmond Children's Writers will be there, and we would love to meet you!